All I Need
by carlycarter
Summary: Stevie Alex. Season 4. Stevie's heart is broken when Kane leaves town without her. Will this be the perfect chance for Alex to step in and claim her heart?
1. Chapter 1

_Hey, there's not a cloud in the sky _

I pulled my Ute over onto the side of a deserted country road. I couldn't face going back to Drovers Run. Not after I'd made such a huge deal about leaving. Not after they had all looked at me like I was crazy, and told me countless times what a mistake I had made. But I stood my ground, declaring confidently that I knew what I was doing, that this was my chance to make something of my life.

_It's as blue as your blue goodbye _

To be honest I would have been disappointed if the others hadn't tried to stop me. It was reassuring to know they cared, and that they'd miss me. But being told what a stupid thing I was doing only served to annoy me. Tess stood there, as if her own life was so ideal and her own choices so perfect. All my life people had looked down on me like that. Telling me how much I'd screwed everything up, telling me over and over about the mistakes I made. And I was sick of it. I told myself Tess was just jealous. And I packed up everything I owned and drove away to start my new life, with Kane.

_And I thought that it would rain _

It never really occurred to me that he would betray me like that. I know he was not the most honest man in the world. But I was so blinded by my infatuation that I never saw it coming. I suppose it wasn't really the man I was in love with. Just the idea of him, the idea of a new life, the life I always dreamed of. To be a success, to stand on my own two feet, to have something real to offer to Rose. And once again that dream went up in smoke

_On a day like today. _

I'm not sure where I got the idea that my dream would come true. None of my dreams ever have. I've always woken up to be slapped in the face with the cold hard reality that life just isn't meant to be easy, or fair, or painless. But this time, I thought it was different. I suppose that makes me pretty stupid.

_Why, after this long is there nothing I'll keep? _

So here I am again. Back in this lonely place. It seems to hurt so much more this time. Its not just Kane. Although the tears that I cry are in part for him, for the life I had dreamed of that he ran away from. He ran away from me. Left me behind. As if I meant nothing to him. And that hurt.

_Oh I can shout, you'll pretend you're feeling asleep. _

But I have been the one to walk away from the best life I have ever had. Drovers Run. The best job, the best friends, the safest place I have ever known. From that first day I set foot on Drovers I knew I wanted to settle down there. It felt to me like 'home' even though I didn't really know what 'home' meant at the time. And I had thrown it all away, for Kane. For nothing. And here I was, with nothing. Just like that first day I came to Drovers. But this time it seems that I have less than nothing. Because now I've lost something precious- my home and my family.

_I never cried, I just watched my life go by _

My heart aches to be back there. There is no place in the world I'd rather run to right now. But I can never show my face there again. Not to Tess and Nick, or Jodi, and not to Alex. Not after he warned me how stupid I was being. There was only one thing to do, and that was to disappear completely. They'd all think I left with Kane. Maybe I'd send a few postcards one day, about our happy life. They'd never know the difference. But going back, the humiliation of admitting defeat, admitting that once again I had screwed up completely, it was not an option.

_It's just a waste of time, 'cause you're leaving me behind _

It just wasn't so easy to leave. That's why I was sitting in my ute on the side of the road. Where was I even going to go? I tried to remind myself it was just like the good old days, on the road again, each week in a new place. But the excitement from that carefree life was now completely gone. This, and the fact that I had no money.

_Hey, there's not a cloud in the sky _

The thing I hate myself for the most, is trusting him with my money. Roses money. It was for Rose. For our new life together. And I had just given it away. I had let Rose down, again. And once again had nothing left to offer her.

_Its as blue as your blue goodbye _

I was so completely enthralled in my thoughts, in feeling sorry for myself, that I didn't notice the black ute pull up on the opposite side of the road. I scarcely even noticed as Alex got out and let himself in the passenger side of my car. And even when I saw him, it didn't quite register at first.

_And I thought that it would rain _

He opened his mouth and said something completely ridiculous and insignificant. "Nice Day for a drive, Cowgirl"

_On a day like today. _

I turned my head, thinking perhaps if I ignored him he might go away. This strategy had never worked in the past and I'm not sure why I thought it would now. I could feel his eyes staring at me, and I tried not to cry. "Hey are you ok?" He asked quietly a few moments later.

_Hey, does it ever make you wonder what's on my mind? _

"Just leave Alex" I answered him without looking at him.

He didn't move though.

"Well what are you waiting for?" I asked him, trying my best to sound annoyed, but I could tell he saw right through me.

_I was only ever running back to your side _

He sat silently until finally I could hold back the tears no longer. The last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of him. He reached over and put his hand on my shoulder, and before I knew it his arms were around me as I sank into his embrace. It felt so safe to be in his arms. So right. And for a moment I forgot my humiliation, closed my eyes, and let myself take pleasure in the feeling of being in his arms.

_I live a lie, yeah believing that your mine _

I don't remember much of what I said to Alex in the car that afternoon. Conversation was never his strong point and I have never been so glad for that. He never asked me what had happened, or where Kane was. I loved him so much for that, for not putting me through the humiliation of having to explain that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. He just held me and told me that everything would be ok. And even though my life had once again fallen apart completely, something about his words were convincing, and I held on to them tightly, somehow believing there was truth to them. I didn't want him to ever let me go. But eventually he pulled away. My heart sank as all of a sudden his arms were gone and I was alone again. Just like that. And then Alex announced he was taking me home.

_Its just a waste of time, coz you're leaving me behind _

The day you went away- Wendy Matthews


	2. Chapter 2

"Home?" I repeated vaguely. I didn't have a home anymore.

"Yeah, come on I'll drive you back to Drovers." He offered. It really was sweet of him, and I suppose he thought he was doing the right thing. But it was the last place I wanted to go.

'No, forget it!" I answered emphatically. "Just go Alex."

He looked shocked, even a bit hurt, that I'd asked him to leave.

"Hey Stevie…" He started, but I could tell he wasn't sure how he was going to finish.

Although I didn't owe him an explanation, that sad look in his eyes got to me, and I found myself blurting out "I cant go back there, ok"

"To Drovers? Why not? Its your home. They are your friends Stevie." He tried to convince me.

"Just get out of my car Alex" I told him coldly. I didn't have the energy to fight about it with him right now. It was a mistake to open up to him, to break down in front of him. My instinct had been to run, and I should have followed that.

"Wait. I know some place we can go." He said.

"I told you, I'm not going back to Drovers." I said impatiently. How many times did he need me to explain it?

"No, I know someplace away from here, if you want, we can go there." He finished.

**I wanna call the stars down from the sky**

**I wanna live a day that never dies**

**I wanna change the world only for you**

**All the impossible i wanna do**

I'm not sure why I agreed. Partly because my options were limited. But mostly because I just wanted to be with him. Wherever this 'someplace' was, as long as he was going there, it's where I wanted to be. So after a moment of hesitation I climbed over to the passenger side and let him drive us away.

It was dark when he pulled into a driveway. I must have slept while he was driving. He didn't say a word on the journey, not about Kane, or Drovers, and no "I told you so" that I had been dreading. I looked to him with questioning eyes as we got out of the car.

"What is this place?" I asked, looking around at the small beach house.

"Holiday house. We used to come here when we were younger. Don't worry no one comes here anymore. I don't know why Harry hasn't sold it. Too many memories I guess." He explained.

I nodded.

"Are you hungry?" He asked

I shook my head, looking around the house. It was small, but nicely painted and furnished. It had been well kept, and you couldn't tell it had been uninhabited for years.

"Well that's good" He answered as he surveyed the kitchen "Because we don't have any food."

I smiled weakly at him.

"Are you tired?" He asked

"Not really." I answered. I had slept most of the way in the car

"Me neither, want to sit for a bit?" He invited me.

**I wanna make you see just what i want**

**Show you that lonliness and what it does**

**You walked into my life to stop my tears**

**Everything is easy now, I have you here**

I nodded. I sat down on the couch and watched as he lit a fire in the fireplace. He sat beside me, looking away from me into the flames. I watched him. I want him to come closer. To take me in his arms again. But he sat silent and distant. I love him for just being here with me. But I want more. Finally, in desperate attempt to break the silence I spoke the first thing that came to my mind.

"You didn't have to come here" I told him. What I really meant was 'thanks' but it didn't quite come out like that.

He turned "I wanted to." He replied, smiling at me and I knew he had understood what I meant.

I looked into his eyes. He looked right back at me, right through me, right inside to the deepest part of me. This is the man that knows me. Knows my weaknesses, knows my faults. And still he is here by my side. The one person that is always on my side, no matter how stupid I am. The one person that doesn't judge me. The one person i dont have to live in fear of him hurting me.

I tried to use my eyes to convey to him how much I appreciated that, how much I appreciated him. Hoping he would see how much I was longing to be close to him, how much I needed to be in his arms at that moment. Of course being a man he didn't seem to get the message. He looked back at me questioningly, as if he was trying to make sense of what I was trying to say to him. He moved closer, almost touching me. I could see in his eyes that he cared about me.

**I wanna hold you close under the rain**

**I wanna kiss your smile and feel your pain**

**I know it's beautiful looking at you**

**In a world of lies, you are the truth**

I sat captivated by his eyes. I didn't realize at first that my hands were stroking his face. It was beyond my control at that point. I just had to touch him. He put his hand on top of mine, my heart skipped beat as he gently stroked the back of my hand with his fingers. His touch felt like fire, and my skin melted. His other hand was playing with my hair, twirling it round his fingers. He somehow seemed to know just what to do to comfort me. His hands in my hair felt so good. I didn't ever want him to stop. I let out a sigh. His touch was so soft, so tender, but it sent shivers down my spine. I never wanted to be separated from his hands again. I looked away, afraid of what I would see when I looked into his eyes. Afraid that he wasn't enjoying himself as much as I was. He gently lifted my chin, and as I met his gaze. His eyes were as full of longing and desire as my own.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Of course he wanted me. He had never let me down, or betrayed my expectations of him. He always knew what I needed. And tonight was no exception. I leaned forward and gently brushed my lips against his. His lips were soft and warm, as he kissed me first gently, and then more intenstly. His eyes, his lips, his hands, all reassuring me over and over again that - yes, he wanted me.

**And baby, every time you touch me, I become a hero**

**I'll make you safe no matter where you are**

As the kiss deepened i felt something i had never felt with any other man. Not just his warmth, desire and passion. But also so safe, so secure, and finally so complete. He finally broke away gently. It was as if i couldnt breathe anymore. I neeeded him to be close to me, i couldnt stand him pulling away like that. I would die. He looked down at me with longing and hunger burning in his eyes. He traced my lips with his fingers before asking softly "Is this what you want?"

How could he even ask me that? And just when i thought he knew me so well. He seemed to need me to say it, so i said it "Yes" i whispered. It took every ounce of my self control to hold back for that moment, but i want him to make the first move this time. I want him to come to me.

**I'll bring you anything you ask for, nothing is above me**

For a moment he sat, his fingers caressing my face. Then he leaned forward and kissed me, this time more forcefully and completly without hesitation. He poured out his love entirely. Every part of him needing every part of me. The kiss deepened, our tongues dancing eagerly. I feel his hands eagerly explore every inch of my body.

And still i want more.

I gasped as he broke the kiss, not wanting our lips to ever be apart again. Then he stood at took me gently in his arms. I lay my head on his shoulder as he carried my inot the bedroom, and felt him softly kissing the top of my head. My tongue still tingling from his touch, and my hands longing to caress him, i took a moment to be still, and close my eyes. To be in his arms felt like heaven. He truly was my soul mate. My other half. He completed me in a way no other person every could.

**I'm shining like a candle in the dark**

**When you tell me that you love me**

He lay me gently on the bed, and as he lay beside me our lips quickly found their way to one anothter. My hands slid underneath his shirt. He momentarily broke from our embrace as i slid his shirt off. He looked deeply into my eyes "You are so beautiful" He whispered as he gently unbuttoned my shirt, softly kissing my skin. I lay for a moment, in the warmth of his loving gaze, the peace of his embrace, the contentment of his love. His words, his touch, everything about him screamed to me how much he loves me, he wants me, he needs me.

**In a world without you **

**I will always hunger**

**All i need is your love to make me stronger**

His love swept through me, engulfed me, possessed me. His passion fell upon me, all around me and deep inside of me. My body ached for his. He touched the deepest part of me, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Without him, i was no longer complete, i was no longer truly me. Because i had given everything to him, my body, my soul, my heart. Afterwards i lat content in his arms. We didn't speak. We didnt need to. I still longed to be so close to him. I couldnt ever imagine being apart from him. He stroked my hair, and with his other arm held me close to his side. I tried to fight falling asleep, i couldnt stand for the moment to end. But it felt so peaceful to finally be with him, and my eyes closed as i drifted to sleep listening to him breathing beside me.

_**When you tell me that you love me. Diana Ross**_


	3. Chapter 3

I couldn't help smile as I looked down at the angel who lay sleeping in my arms. I felt like pinching myself to make sure it wasn't a dream. I had dreamed of her often over the years, right from that first day I met her. But she never knew that. In the end I did pinch myself hard, satisfying myself that this was real. I doubted I even had the capacity to dream up something like this. It was better than any of my dreams had ever been, I reminded myself. Never had I been with someone who fulfilled me in this way. Ever. Someone who sensed my every need and every desire, who gave endless pleasure to me as a lover. It was beyond everything I ever even dared to dream.

_There is no time where we come from  
There are no clouds that block the sun  
There's here and now and what we feel  
We have this moment and nothing else is real_

Only yesterday she had told me she was leaving with Kane, to start a new life with him. I thought I had lost everything. And there was no one to blame. No one but me. I had kept my feelings from her for years. And that moment she told me she was leaving, I was closer than ever to telling her. But I was afraid it wouldn't make a difference. Afraid I was too late. Afraid I wouldn't be enough.

As I looked down to her in my arms, I couldn't tear my eyes away. I thought over the night we had just shared together. And could have kicked myself that I had waited so long to show her how I felt. Think of all the nights like this one that we had missed out on. And to think how close I came to losing her to Kane, that we might never have had this. I shuddered at that thought.

My heart stopped when I saw her on the side of the road in her ute. I thought she was gone, that I wouldn't see her again. And there she was. I thought it was an illusion. But it all became real to me as I opened the door to her ute and stepped inside uninvited, as I saw the tears in her eyes and the pain in her heart. I figured out what must have happened. Despite her obvious heartbreak, I couldn't help the wave of relief that swept through me. I didn't know what to say to her. But as I put my arms around her it felt so right. Instantly the perfect place sprang to mind. The perfect place to bring her. And here we are.

_Only me loving you loving me  
With every beat of our hearts  
Deep in my soul I believe  
With every breath that we breathe_

As we sat by the fire last night, I felt her watching me. I was unsure what she wanted. I knew my own desire all too well, but wouldn't take advantage of her when she was in that state. But she kept drawing me in. Her eyes inviting me closer. Begging me to touch her. She kept touching me, kissing me. Her touch felt so right. So perfect. Her lips so soft, so delicate. I kissed her back hungrily. I couldn't help myself. I couldn't have resisted, it was beyond my control at that point. But for a moment I forced myself to stop. I had to know if it was what she wanted, really wanted.

_There is a place where our hearts meet  
The night becomes us, still and deep  
Without a word, without a sound  
You leave me breathless to this world we've found_

I pulled away gently. Just for a moment. Just to ask her if it was what she wanted. I wouldn't take advantage of her. If she wanted me to stop, I'd stop. And she didn't want this to go further it would have to stop now. I'd have to leave if she was going to kiss me like this and expect nothing in return.

_Where it's me loving you loving me  
With every beat of our hearts_

She looked to me and answered softly but assuredly "Yes". I heard her answer, and without stopping to think if she meant it, I took her in my arms. She had answered yes with her words, but she spent the next hours proving to me with every part of her body over and over again that she meant it. She meant yes. She wanted this. She wanted me. After the night we shared, her desire for me was unquestioned.

_Deep in my soul I believe  
With every breathe that we breathe  
It's me loving you loving me_

I had wanted to comfort her, to drive the pain completely from her mind and leave her with only bliss. What I hadn't expected was the fulfillment it brought to me. How even in the midst of heartbreak, she sensed my every need, and satisfied it completely. I had never been with anyone who touched me so deeply, who brought me that much pleasure. Ever.

_No beginning and no ending  
Feel like you've always been  
Burning like a flame inside of me_

All the times I had seen her over the years. From that first time at the Rodeo, to the last days at Drovers. I had looked at her, longing for her, playing this moment in my mind over and over, wondering how it would be. What was it that held me back? She was special, I knew that from day one. I didn't want her to be just another one night stand. And truthfully I was afraid. It's not that I haven't had my share of rejection. But she was something more than all the others had been, and to be rejected by her would have killed me. So I was stupid, and cowardly, and hid my feelings from her. I held back, depriving myself of the greatest night of passion I had ever known. But more than that. We would be more than just one night. We would be a life time. More than just physical lovers. Partners on every level, for life. This was it. True love. Soemthing I had never known. Something that made my heart skip a beat every time I thought of her, every time I touched her.

_Without a word, without a sound  
You leave me breathless to this world we've found  
Where it's me loving you loving me_

I lay content, holding her in my arms. I'm sure I had the biggest stupid grin on my face at that moment. I didn't want to move, to wake her. Her skin was so soft under my fingers. It took everything in me to restrain from kissing her over and over. But she looked so peaceful. Something I can honestly say I have never seen her look. And for the moment I just wanted that to last. So I held her close, never mind that she was laying on top of my arm and I couldn't move.

_Only me loving you loving me_

Eventually she rolled over in her sleep, freeing my squashed arm. I watched her, asleep so deeply. It didn't seem that she would wake any time soon. It took every ounce of restraint not to wake her. I glanced at the clock, it was morning. I was somehow sad that the night had come to an end, but i reminded myself that it was only the first night of many. The first night of a lifetime. Suddenly a great inspiration came to me. I would sneak out while she was sleeping to go to the shops. We had no food at all in this place. And once she woke there was no way I could tear myself away to go grocery shopping. It was now or never. I would quickly purchase the groceries, then come back and prepare her breakfast in bed. Hopefully all before she even woke. Once I returned I didn't plan on either of us getting out of bed today. I quickly scrawled a note explaining that I'd be back soon in case she woke and found me gone.

_'Stevie,  
How can I ever thank you for the best night of my life. I love you more than words can say, and I want to spend the rest of my life proving that to you. I've gone out for a few minutes, be back soon with a surprise for you. I cant wait to hold you in my arms again. Sleep well angel. Alex.'_

Leaving the note on the bedside table, I took one last look at her peacefully sleeping, and headed out to get breakfast.

Me Loving You Loving Me, John Warren


	4. Chapter 4

As I woke that morning, memories of the night before made me smile. My first thought was of Alex. His arms around me, taking me away to this place. A special place just for us where the rest of the world ceased to exist. The night we shared together. He took all my pain away and gave me only joy and contentment and peace. He gave something to hope for, to live for, to give everything for. A reason to smile

Before i even opened my eyes, I began to realize his arms weren't around me. I couldn't hear him breathing beside me. I sat bolt upright abruptly, and flung my eyes open. It wasn't a dream. This place was real. Our safe haven away from the rest of the world. That dusty smell of a place that hadn't been lived in for years. The sound of the ocean outside. But all of that drifted further and further away from my mind as panic set it. Where was Alex?

_So there you go  
You're gone for good  
There you go  
You're gone for good_

I took a deep breath. He must be in the next room. I called his name softly, playfully. It wasn't a big place. He must have heard me. I called again, more urgently and loudly. Still no response. Quickly I got dressed and wandered around the beach house. The house was empty. The Ute was gone from the driveway. He had left me.

I laughed bitterly to myself. He had his night of fun. Used me to get what he wanted. And then he had left. Without even saying goodbye. Just like Kane. Just like everyone in my life I had been fool enough to believe when they told me that they loved me. That I was special. That they wouldn't leave me. No one had ever meant it in the past, and I don't know what I thought Alex Ryan would be any different. But I really did think he was different. I thought he was the one.

_Shut your eyes tightly  
Clench your fists 'til they almost bleed  
Cautiously, lightly  
Gently expose what's underneath_

Did he think I was using him? To get over Kane? Just a night of fun to make myself feel better? It was so much more than that to me. Alex has always been so much more. And I fought it for so long for exactly this reason. To protect myself from this pain. I thought it hurt yesterday being dumped by Kane, losing all my money, having to walk away from the only home I have ever had. But this was a thousand time worse. I gave everything of myself to him. And he threw me away.

Quickly I ran into the unfamiliar street. I didn't have any idea where I was. I scolded myself for not paying more attention when I got in the car with Alex. I reached into my pocket. $10. That was all that was left of my life now. He had even taken my Ute.

_And all you feel now  
Is the scarlet in your day  
Even it's real  
You can't stay..._

Once again alone and with nothing, I started walking down the street. Uncertain where I was going, or how I could get there, or even why I should bother putting one foot in front of the other, still I walked on. I had always believed there was something to live for, that around the corner something good might happen. Something to make all the struggles worthwhile. And when I had come to Drovers Run I thought I had finally found that good thing I'd been searching for. My luck had changed, I found a home, a job, friends, and Alex. And right now I wished I had never set foot on that wretched place called Drovers Run. Losing everything hurt way too much. I wish I never had anything to lose. Life really is better that way. With nothing. Never again would I be so foolish to let someone hurt me like that.

_Middle of nowhere  
Finally you can breathe  
Nobody knows your name  
It's easier_

In that moment, it felt like I couldn't go on anymore, not after losing everything that meant anything to me. I tried to tell myself that I had managed before I came to Drovers Run. I had lived years and years of my life apart from that place, not longing for it once, not realizing what I was missing out on, not even realizing it existed. There had to be more to my life. Years of my life I lived moving from town to town, working different jobs, and I was happy. Years of my life I lived without a place to call home. Without those girls at Drovers who had become like my sisters. Years of my life I had lived without Alex. I had survived.

Those people weren't my life, they weren't my family, that place wasn't my home. Finally I pulled myself together in the way I always did, I thought of Rose. My reason to go on, to keep fighting. Rose was the only one that mattered. I looked back over the years I had spent working to make something for Rose. For our future. And right now I had nothing to show for it. The only good thing I had to offer Rose was Drovers. I had a steady job, a place for us to live. All that was gone. I'd never have anything to offer her. Michelle had been right about that. And without that dream of getting Rose back, I had no reason to even keep on living. That dream of reuniting with Rose had given me strength through the toughest times. Now I was alone. All my strength was gone. Everything was gone. I reached the sandy shore of the beach, and sat and cried.

_So there you go  
You're gone for good  
There you go  
You're gone for good_

Scarlet- Brooke Fraser


	5. Chapter 5

I pulled into the driveway already overcome by a sinking feeling in my heart that I tried to dismiss. I took the grocery bags out of the car, and set them carefully on the floor. Then I crept into the bedroom just to look at her. Being gone for 10 minutes to the shops was far too long, and I already decided next time she would be coming with me. I pushed the door open gently not wanting to wake her. My smile faded as I realized she wasn't in the bed.

"Stevie?" I called gently. Perhaps she was in the shower. Perhaps I might join her. With that thought I raced to the bathroom, not wasting a second. But she wasn't there. A quick search revealed she wasn't in the house at all. Since I had taken her Ute to get the groceries, she had no car, and she couldn't have made it far. Perhaps she went for a walk. I left the already forgotten groceries sitting in a heap on the floor and headed out to find her.

_Where do I begin?  
There's so much I want to say to make it easier _

It had taken all of 15 minutes to find her sitting alone on the beach. But those felt like the longest minutes of my life. I started to panic, imagining a hundred and one ridiculous things that could have happened to her. And she hadn't left a note! At least I had the courtesy to do that. I started to realize just how much I came to need her, how I couldn't seem to function without her. Relief flooded my heart as I saw her sitting there. I walked quickly over to her, longing to take her in my arms. To walk along the beach with her by my side. As I became close I could hear her crying and I slowed my pace. I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms and comfort her. But uneasiness crept over me and I felt that I shouldn't be here.

_Tomorrow's on it's way  
Do you believe I want to take your painful memories? _

It was unfathomable to me that she could be crying on this morning, which had fast become the best of my life. And, afraid to intrude, I stood motionless for a few minutes trying to comprehend what could possibly make her cry. Was it me? Something I'd done? Had she woken up and realized she'd made the biggest mistake of her life? Was she crying for Kane? After the night we shared I found it near impossible that she felt any regret over it, or that she had a thought left to spare for Kane. Unable to come anywhere close to an explanation I decided to make my presence known. It broke my heart to see her so upset. And eventually I had to reach out to her. I placed my hand on her shoulder and gently asked her "Stevie, what's up?"

_I know you want to run away  
I know that you can't see tomorrow _

I must have startled her because she jumped in fright, and stood to face me. For a moment she stood looking at me, just looking. Tears stained her face, and I felt tears welling up in my own eyes to see her so distressed. I couldn't understand the emotions I saw in her eyes. Some combination of fear, and pain , and anger, and every negative emotion you could possible imagine combined into one deadly stare. It made no sense to me. I looked back at her, a hundred questions reflected in my own eyes, trying to make sense of it, trying to think of something comforting to say or to do.

_Let me wipe away your tears and give you life,  
Make you feel beautiful again _

I couldn't seem to think of that right thing to say or do. And evidently she grew tired of waiting as she turned and quickly walked away. Stunned, it was a moment before I followed her. It was an effort to catch up to her, she walked quickly, and the sand made it more difficult. Eventually I reached her and stood beside her, taking her hand "Stevie, talk to me, tell me what's wrong." I asked her.

Evidently this was not the thing I was supposed to say, for she flung my hand away, turned her head away and as she kept walking told me icily 'Do not ever touch me again.'

_Don't throw it all away  
I'm here tonight to take away your pain. _

I stopped dead in my tracks, not so much at her words, but at the tone of her voice. How could those words come from the woman who I had spent last night with. The woman who was my soul mate. It was hatred in her voice, and for the life of my I couldn't figure out what I'd done to deserve it. I couldn't let her walk away like this, without sorting it out. Again I followed behind her, this time putting my arms around her and pulling her close to me. I pleaded with her "Just stop, tell me what I've done. We can sort it out."

_Yesterday is gone  
And everything that made you cry has fallen to the ground _

She relaxed for a moment in my arms. And I really thought I was getting somewhere. I was so concentrated on my words, on trying to get her to talk to me. My mind so focused with the possibilities of what could be going on, that I really didn't see it coming. Only that sudden unbearable pain as I felt her foot violently collide with a delicate part of my anatomy. She took off, heading for the house. It was minutes before I recovered enough to be able to follow her. She sure knew how to get a guy where it hurts. It was then I started to lose my patience. My concern gave way to frustration and even anger.

As I approached the house she was standing in the drive next to the Ute, her arms folded. Just at the sight of her my anger vanished, and only love remained. All I wanted was to sort this out, whatever it was. It was killing me not to able to touch her, to hold her, to kiss away her tears, and to whisper in her ear that it would be ok.

_I'm here to bring you home, I will always take you back  
You haven't let me down _

"Where are the keys?" She asked. Her voice was emotionless this time. She had wiped the tears from her eyes. She wouldn't look at me directly. 

"Listen" I began, not entirely sure how to continue.

_And when you're feeling all alone and you can't go on,  
Remember I am here _

A million questions ran through my mind, why was she behaving like this? Was I wrong to make love to her last night? She was upset over Kane? Did she think I had taken advantage of her? She sure didn't seem to have any doubts at the time. And last but not least I wanted to tell her to not ever pull a stunt like that again with delicate parts of my anatomy.

"Give me the keys." She demanded, a hint of desperation in her voice this time. She seemed almost scared of me, which confused me even more as she was the one who had just attacked me.

"No" I told her firmly. "We need to talk."

_And when you think you've gone too far,  
I'll meet you where you are  
My arms are open wide  
_

"We have nothing to talk about. Give me my keys"

"No" I replied again. I was half afraid she'd tackle me to the ground to get them off me. But she seemed to be standing as far away from me as she possibly could. My touch seemed to repulse her.

"Fine" she replied as she picked up a nearby rock and thrust it through the driver's side window. The sound of glass shattering filled the air and she reached forward to unlock the door.

Until that moment I had respected her wishes that she didn't want me to touch her. But this was getting out of control. I couldn't let her drive off in this state. And I couldn't let her leave without sorting this out somewhat. "Oy!" I shouted at her, for lack of anything constructive to say. And I picked her up in my arms and took her into the house, all the while she was screaming at the top of her lungs "Alex, put me down!"

'Caroline'- Seventh Day Slumber


	6. Chapter 6

I pulled her into the house, hoping the neighbors hadn't heard the screaming. I noticed her hand was scratched and bleeding from where she had broken the window of the Ute. I pushed her inside, slamming the door behind me, and trying at the same time to protect certain parts of my body from attack. Once inside I let her go. She walked away from me, her back turned. I couldn't see her face, her eyes. Even if I could have I'm not sure I would have understood any better what was going on. But I felt her anger even from across the room. I did feel bad that I dragged her kicking and screaming into the house. But she was in no state of mind to be driving off like that. And I couldn't have lived if anything ever happened to her. She wouldn't speak to me. Wouldn't look at me. She stood still for a moment. Then walked quickly into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

_Tell me what I have to do tonight  
Cause I'd do anything to make it right  
Let's be us again  
I'm sorry for the way I lost my head  
I dont why I said the things I said  
Lets be us again _

I thought perhaps I should leave her alone. But I couldn't. I wanted more than anything to hold her in my arms. I wanted her to talk to me, to make me understand what all this craziness was about. I couldn't stand her being so close and yet being apart from her. And I couldn't stand the unanswered questions.

I knocked gently on the door. There was no response from the other side. I hadn't really expected one. 

"Stevie, come on, cant we just talk? Tell me what the problem is and I know we can work something out."

Still no answer.

I was trying to be patient. But I could take no more. I slammed my fist angrily against the door "Come on Stevie, you're being stupid!"

_Here I stand with everything to lose  
All I know is I dont wanna ever see the end  
Baby please, I'm reachin out for you  
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in  
Lets be us again  
Us again _

I thought about breaking the door down. But I realized that it would be futile. It wasn't the walls of this house standing between us, it was the walls around her heart. And I couldn't figure out what I had done for her to react this way and completely shut me out. The more I tried to reach her, the further away she retreated. And for the first time in my life I felt utterly lost with no idea what to do.

_Look at me Im way past pride  
Isn't there some way that we can try  
To be us again  
Even if it takes a while  
I'll wait right here until I see that smile  
That says we're us again _

I stood for a moment longer at the door, and heard her softly crying on the other side. That sound broke my heart. I hated to see her miserable. But what I hated more than that was the fact that she wouldn't let me comfort her. I have never wanted anything more than I wanted to hold her at that moment. I sank to the ground, with my head in my hands, and just listened to her crying so softly.

_Here I stand with everything to lose  
All I know is I dont wanna ever see the end  
Baby please, I'm reachin out for you  
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in  
Lets be us _

In a moment, inspiration dawned on me. There was one thing I could think of to do, only one. It probably wasn't the brightest idea I have ever had, but for that moment it was the only idea I had. So I did it.

_Baby baby, what would I do  
Can't imagine life without you _

I don't know why I ran into this room of all places. This was our place. The place we had finally come together. The most complete moment of my life. And it was torture to be in here, reminded of it all. How could Alex do this to me? Didn't he see how much he was hurting me? Didn't he care?

How could he make love to me like that, and then just abandon me? But I could have got over that. He came back. I didn't stop to ask myself why he bothered to come back. It didn't seem to matter. Only that it was killing me to see him again, to feel his arms around me, to hear his voice from the other side of that door. He sounded just like Alex, like my Alex. Not like this monster I had created him to be in the last few hours. This cruel heartless bastard who promised me the world and then left me alone and with nothing to live for. I put my hands over my ears, not wanting to hear whatever it was he was saying to me. I was afraid I would listen to him, get sucked in again, and let him in. I wanted more than anything to open that door and let him in. But he had hurt me too much already. I wouldn't go back for more pain like that. I had learned my lesson.

_Here I stand with everything to lose  
All I know is I dont wanna ever see the end _

Only now that he couldn't see me, that he had stopped calling out to me from the other side of the door, only then did I cry. The tears seemed never ending. The weight of the events of the last few days had left me exhausted and I crawled wearily onto the bed. I pulled the blankets tight around me. I could still smell him here. Everything about this room felt like Alex. And while that cut through my heart like a knife, it was also strangely comforting. I allowed myself to fall into a disturbed sleep, my mind thinking only of Alex. 

_Let's be us again_


	7. Chapter 7

-1I willed myself to sleep, for just a little while to get away from the unbearable pain. But even in sleep, Alex was there. I dreamed of him, of the night we had together. Or was that night just a dream? Just a cruel dream of finally being with my soul mate. Finally admitting to him, and to myself, how much he meant to me. That he meant everything to me. And finding out her felt that same way. I should have known it was too good to be true.

_In my head I have dreams  
I have visions of many things  
Questions, longings in my mind _

I tried to remember that feeling of being with him, the most perfect feeling in my life. But it was drifting further and further away. I could hardly remember what it felt like- Completely trusting him, being complete in his arms. In my dreams I ran. Because running is what I do. Because I couldn't face him. Being near him hurt so much, to be reminded of what I had, for just a moment in time. Reminded that I meant nothing to him. But he followed me. Haunting me. Reminding me at every turn of my worthless and broken heart.

_Pictures fill my head  
I feel so trapped instead but  
Trapped doesn't seem so bad  
'Cause you are here _

How could I ever get past it when every time I turn around I see his face? If I survived this, I vowed silently to never let anyone in to my heart again. Never. Especially not him. I was totally broken, _lost and incomplete _. But not alone. He wouldn't leave me alone. And while that hurt beyond what words can describe, somehow in my dream world where all logic disappears, that felt safe. He felt safe. And suddenly I didn't want him to go.

_It doesn't mean anything  
Without You here with me  
And I can try to justify  
But I still need You here with me _

_In my heart I had hope  
Built on dreams I'll never know  
Answers to love left behind _

After what felt like hours, I decided to gently knock on the door. What could be the worst that could happen? She'd already got me where it hurt. She had already totally shut me out, I didn't think I could push her any further away if I tried. There came no answer to my knock, and I slowly pushed the door open. I say her lying on the bed sleeping, holding the blanked close around her. 

_I can't do anything without You  
You give me strength to do anything  
I can't be everything I try to  
You saved me from the everything  
I couldn't be _

She looked so beautiful. So peaceful, and yet so troubled. So vulnerable. All I wanted to do was hold her. To be near her. But her words rang in my head _"Don't you ever touch me again." _So I just sat by her on the bed. Watching her sleep. Just being near her. And for the moment, that was enough.

_It doesn't mean anything  
Without You here with me  
'Cause after all is said and done  
I still need You here with me _

She began calling out in her sleep, I couldn't make out what she was saying. She seemed frightened. I would have given anything at that moment to know what she was dreaming. Without thinking I gently shook her to wake her. She sat upright, slightly disorientated.

"Its ok, you were just dreaming." I told her, still my hand rested on her shoulder. With one quick move she pushed my hand free and slapped me across the face. As I sat stunned she got up and headed out of the room. I eventually followed. She headed for the front door, and finding it was locked, she turned around to me.

"Let me go Alex." She demanded. Her words touched a nerve, as if I was some monster keeping her prisoner against her will.

"I cant…" I tried to explain. I was worried about her driving off like that so upset, that she would get into an accident. I was worried that she'd disappear and I'd never see her again. I couldn't lose her. She didn't really have anywhere to go, she already made it clear she wouldn't go back to Drovers Run. And the thought of her alone and lost with no place to go really frightened me.

But she had turned away again and wasn't listening. "Look, I'll leave if that's what you want…." I told her. Although leaving her was the last thing I wanted to do.

"Good, then go" She answered a little too quickly for my liking.

"…As soon as Tess gets here." I finished. If I had any doubts that she was listening to me, they were gone as she quickly spun around to face me.

"Why would Tess come here?" She asked, sounded genuinely curious.

"Because I called her." I confessed.

"You what!?" She asked.

"You heard me" I told her.

"What the hell did you do that for!?" She demanded to know.

At least she was speaking to me, or rather yelling at me. That was a little more like the Stevie I knew and loved, and I decided to take that for a good sign. I couldn't help the smile that crept across my lips. She was cute when she was mad.

Evidently she noticed it, "I am glad you find it so amusing." She said sarcastically.

Still glad she was actually speaking to me rather than ignoring me, I decided to respond, "I don't." I answered, any trace of my smile now gone. I tried to think of something intelligent to say, but it didn't seem to happen. "And I called Tess because I'm worried about you. Because you won't let me help you. Because I thought maybe Tess could help you. You need to talk to someone, and if you don't want to talk to me, I thought you might talk to her." I tried to explain my reasons.

"I don't need you or Tess to 'help' me!" She shot back at me "And I'm not a child, if I want to talk to Tess, which I don't, I'll call her myself! And you had no right to tell her person things about…us." She finished softly.

Despite her obvious anger at me, the way she said "us" made my heart skip a beat.

"Nah, look, I didn't tell her anything. I swear" I quickly added. That was true. For a start I didn't quite know what to tell, and I didn't really want Tess knowing all about my love life either. I figured Stevie would tell what she wanted to tell and I'd just have to live with it.

"So why is she coming here?!" She asked me angrily.

"I just called her. And asked her to come."

"You just called, and she came running. Why is that Alex?!" She demanded to know.

"Huh?" I answered confused.

"Is that what you do with your ex lovers Alex? Throw them away like rubbish, but keep them on standby, waiting for you to call someday so they can come running with no questions asked? Or isn't she really your 'ex' after all?!"

"Settle down, Tess is family, she's practically married to my brother." I reminded her.

"That makes it even worse! How could you betray your brother that way? Do you even care about anyone but yourself!?" She asked.

I shook my head, more than a little confused. Was she trying to imply there was something between me and Tess? That was crazy. Beyond crazy. Where was all of this coming from?

Deciding I wasn't going to dignify her comments about Tess with an answer, I answered her second question. "I care about you." I said to her sincerely, hoping to reach her somehow.

For a moment she stood looking at me, and I thought maybe I was starting to get through to her. "I bet you said that to Tess too" She replied.

"What is it with me and Tess? We were together once, a long long time ago. A lifetime ago. It's not like you haven't been with other people too Stevie. Just yesterday you were going to skip town with your criminal boyfriend." I reminded her.

I could tell from the look in her eyes that was the wrong thing to say. Still, I was only trying to show her how crazy she was being. I tried to recall if she had always been this crazy. I mean, she'd always been a little crazy. But nothing like this.

"I wish I had" She replied so softly I almost didn't hear her. I looked to her completely confused, causing her to add "He would never treat me the way you did."

That really made me mad. "Excuse me? He's a criminal. And a liar. He promised you this whole great 'new life', and where is it? He took off without you, leaving you crying on the side of the road. Yeah great guy Stevie. And you'd rather be with him than with me?"

She nodded "You're right, he's a jerk. But what he did is nothing different from every other guy I've known. Even you. But you're the worst of all. Because you've always been my mate. Because I thought you knew me. I really did believe that you cared about me. I believed you were different from the rest of them. You hurt me more than Kane or a thousand other guys ever could. But that's my fault for trusting you, for believing in you. For letting you get so close to me."

"Tell me what it is that I've done to hurt you. Please Stevie, just tell me. We can work it out." I pleaded with her "I would never ever want to hurt you. I'm sorry…."

"You're not sorry, you don't even know what you've done! You don't even care." She interrupted me.

"Well then would you like to let me in on it? I do care Stevie. I love you. Only you. Always you. Why would I be here if I didn't care? I could let you go and drive off to god knows where, I could leave here and never give you a second thought. But I'm here trying to get through to you, trying to make things right. Even though you kick me where it hurts, slap me across the face, accuse me of cheating on you with my brothers girlfriend, and of being a bigger loser than Kane. And all the while choosing not to let me in on whatever it is that I've done to hurt you. Think about it, really think about it. Why would I be here if I didn't care?"

And for a moment I could tell she was thinking about it. That's when we heard a car pull into the driveway.

"That will be your girlfriend" She told me bitterly.

Completely exasperated, and with nothing I could think of to say, I looked out the front window, wondering to myself how Tess had arrived so quickly. I wasn't expecting her for hours. That's when I realized that it wasn't Tess at all, and that our trouble was only just beginning.


	8. Chapter 8

-1I honestly would have thought the day could not get any worse. Of all the people I didn't want to be stuck in a room with right now Alex Ryan and Tess McLeod would be absolutely at the top of that list. And I'm sure the two of them would rather I wasn't around to spoil their fun. So I took a deep breath, consoling myself that at least when Tess was here, Alex had promised to leave. I wondered about what I might say to Tess. How I might convince her I was fine. Maybe I would tell her Kane was waiting for me somewhere, convince her to give me my car keys back, and then I'd just dissapear. That's what I wanted more than anything. To just disappear. But those McLeods were relentless. And something told me I would need to do more than some fast talking to get away now.

I really was not prepared for Alex to open the door and find his mother standing there. It had been a while since I'd seen Liz Ryan, but not long enough. I gladly would have lived out the rest of my days without seeing her again. She looked over to me with that disapproving gaze, but made no other acknowledgement of my presence.

"Alex darling!" She exclaimed, "I wasn't expecting you to be here."

Alex stood for a moment, seemingly as shocked as I was.

Liz put down her suitcase "Aren't you happy to see your mother?" She extended her arms to embrace her son, and he obediently hugged his mother in return.

I stood, watching them. Liz didn't take her eyes off me. Her accusing gaze warning me that I didn't belong in this picture. That was fine with me. I didn't want to be in this picture. 

"Well isn't this nice? Alex, go and get the rest of my bags from the car." She ordered him, and like an obedient little boy, he did what she had asked without question.

It was then she spoke to me "Well I'm sure you've had your fun dear, but you'd better run along. You'd only be bored listening to our family stories. You don't really belong here. With my son. You never did." 

Those words sent me back years ago. When Alex and I were just kids. Harry and Liz always made it clear that I was not good enough for Alex. And maybe they were right all along. If she was expecting me to argue, she was in for a shock. There was nothing I wanted more than to leave.

Alex brought the suitcases inside.

"Well, Stevie has to leave now, isn't that a shame Alex? Nevermind. I'm sure we will get on without her." Liz annnounced insincerely.

I really could have hugged the woman. I never thought I'd agree with anything that came out of her mouth. But maybe she would be my ticket out of this place.

"Actually Stevie and I were in the middle of something important." He started to explain nervously, not wanting to displease his mother.

"Yes I'm sure" Liz responded. "But Stevie has to be going."

"She won't be going anywhere." He told Liz, towering over her. He seemed to make his point, she may be his mother, but he was bigger than her. And that was the end of the discussion. I thought it almost funny that the conversation went on around me, no one seemed interested in my opinion about whether I want to stay or go.

Liz sighed, admitting defeat to her son "Very well then. Now Alex, be a gentleman and go and put the kettle on." And once again he obeyed his mother unquestioningly.

"Well, I really think you better be going." She tried to convince me once he had left the room.

"Give me your car keys." I told her.

She laughed. "Always out for what you can get aren't you? I always knew you would show your true colours one day. If that's what it will take to get you out of the way then I count myself lucky." She threw the keys over towards me. "Go on, take my car if it's what you want. And enjoy it. It's not like you'll ever have a chance to drive a car like this one again. And you'll never get your hands on my son."

I hadn't meant that I wanted her car, just that I would move it out of the way, then I would get into my car and drive off. I didn't really need my keys to start the ute. I just needed Alex to turn his back to gve me a chance to get away. And perhaps his mother would be the perfect distraction. So I bent over to pick the keys up from where she had thrown them towards me. Then I headed out of the house and started her car. Even at this point all I wanted was to move her precious car so I could get into my ute and drive away. But when I heard Alex yelling my name I realised there wasn't time. And I reversed out of the driveway in Liz Ryan's car and sped away.

As I put the kettle on I didnt hear any sounds coming from the living room, no yelling, screaming or throwing things, which I took as a good sign. I know Mum and Stevie never really got along, but that would have to change. Mum would have to get used to the idea. It's not that I wasn't glad to see Mum, but she couldn't have timed this visit any worse. Just when I was getting somewhere with Stevie. I'd have to get rid of Mum, then Stevie and I would finish what we started. With that thought in mind i prepared the tea and took it to the living room.

I entered the living room to find Mum beside herself. " Oh Alex!" She exclaimed

"Where's Stevie?" I asked panicked

"That girl she stole my car..."Mum began sobbing

"You let her leave?! Bloody hell!" I yelled at her, making my way to the door to follow Stevie, without a second thought for my mother.

"Alex, where are you going?" Mum called out. "Don't leave me here alone. That girl took my keys, she hit me, and threw me to the ground, and took my keys. She's violent Alex, and crazy, let the police deal with her." Mum pleaded.

For a moment I looked towards my Mum, trying to picture what had happened. Stevie had been acting weird, and she had hit me, twice. I patted mum on the shoulder "It'll be alright, just stay here" I told her, not liking to see my mother cry. By the time i got outside i saw Stevie sitting behind the wheel of Mums car. I ran towards her calling her name. But she was too quick for me. Then I jumped in Stevie's ute, careful to avoid the broken glass, and headed off to find her. I wasn't going to let her get away this time.


	9. Chapter 9

-1I remember getting in Liz Ryans car. I remember Alex calling my name. I remember driving off down that road as fast as I could possibly go, which turned out to be pretty fast. I remember looking in the rear view mirror to see Alex in my ute chasing after me. I remember driving faster. Thinking of only one thing, to get away. If i was going to survive, I needed to get away from him. Let him stay and have tea with his mother. I didn't want to be any part of that, I didn't want to see him ever again after what he had put me through. It hurt too much. I remembered the words he said to me, telling me he loved me, he cared about me. They why wouldn't he let me go?

I remember the pain of waking up alone that morning, realising he betrayed me. The anger at him, and at myself. Feeling so lost. And then him. Refusing to leave me alone. Dragging me into the house as I sccreamed and fought him off. And now following after me as I raced down the streets in his mothers car.

I remember seeing the tree in front of me. I remember thinking for a split second that I should swerve, or brake, or something. That's all I remember. Then just a loud crash. And then silence. Blackness. Stillness. For a moment I thought I was dead.

I heard him. Calling to me. Calling my name. Loudly, but gently. And I thought maybe I was dreaming again. For a moment that was all that existed. Just his voice.

"Hey cowgirl, can you hear me?" I heard him ask. I didn't reply. I didn't want him to be here. I wanted him to be gone. 

I felt his hands on my shoulder and pulled away.

"Don't" i said to him wearily, still not wanting to open my eyes.

"Hey Cowgirl. It's me. There's been an accident ok. But you're going to be ok. Everything will be ok. Just sit still for a minute."

I wanted to believe him. That I would be ok. That things would be ok. That we would be ok. I sat still like he asked as I felt his hands on my body. His touch felt so right. Made me feel so complete. And inside my mind I screamed at myself '_What are you doing? Dont let him touch you._'

"Stop" I said as forcefully as I was able to.

"Listen" He said "Open your eyes"

It was the last thing I wanted, but I did it. Something in his voice commanded me and I couldn't refuse. I blinked as I surveyed the damage to the car. Smashed glass and blood everywhere. He took my face in his hands "Just look at me" he told me, and I did. I looked right at him, and the horror of the wreckage before me dissapeared. "It's ok" He told me. "Listen, I need to get you out of here, and its gonna hurt a whole lot more if you fight me. So just be still, I will be as gentle as I can, alright?"

I nodded. Suddenly becoming aware of pain shooting through my entire body. I closed my eyes as I felt his arms gently lift me from the car. It reminded me of that night, last night, as he carried me to his bed. His arms so strong, such a safe place to be. I tried to stay silent. But the pain caught me by surprise as he moved me and I cried out.

"Sorry." I heard him tell me.

I tried to tell him not to be sorry. That i was the one who was sorry. But he lay me gently on the ground and put his finger to my lips "Shhh. It will be ok soon, the ambluance is coming, alright. Don't talk." He gently covered me with a blanket, and I felt his hand reassuringly rubbing my back. His touch felt so good. All the pain drifted to the back of my mind as I focused on his touch.

There were so many things I wanted to say to him. So many things to ask him, to tell him. But I couldn't find the energy to speak. So I did as he told me and lay still. All the while he held my hand and gently stroked my hair. "I love you Alex" I managed to whisper to him. Even as I said it, I screamed at myself inside my mind _'Shut up, dont say that, he doesnt love you.'_ But it had to be said. It seemed the most important thing in the world at that moment to say it.

"I love you too." He whispered in my ear, as I felt him kiss my cheek. "And i will never let you go again." He added as he squeezed my hand and once again everything faded into blackness and there was only the sound of his voice calling my name. This time I couldnt answer, I couldn't move, even to squeeze his hand in return. And as I drifted into nothingness I felt his hands holding me, and his heart beating beside me. And thats the last thing I remember.

I sat on the side of the road cradling her in my arms. It was all that I had wanted all day, just to hold her. But not like this. When I saw the accident right before my eyes, my heart stopped beating. I pulled my car over and sat for a moment. Certain she was dead. Just like Claire. And I couldn't bring myself to go and look at her. Everything that mattered to me had been taken from me, right infront of my eyes. And I couldn't believe it. How could I go on without her? Why had I let her get away? Why had I inisited on chasing her so fast? It was my fault she crashed. What had I even done in the first place to make her run? Maybe I would never know. Never have the chance to hold her again. To tell her I was sorry. To make her see that I love her. More than life.

Imaged flashed uncontrollably in my mind. 

_Claire. The ute. The cliff._

I shook my head trying to make it go away.

_Running towards her. Calling her name. Her face so pale. Hey eyes vacant. Her skin cold._

Even more horrifying than the site of her in the ute had been the months of grieving for her. That feeling of loss. Of emptyness. I wouldn't be strong enough to go through that again. I couldn't lose Stevie too, I just couldn't stand it. It couldn't happen. That was all there was to it.

Something deep inside of me took over and I found myself walking towards the car wreck. I pushed the images of the past away from my mind as I came closer to the car and saw her breathing. I relaxed. She was ok. I was ok. We would be ok.

I sat with her utnil the ambulance came, whispering words of comfort to her, knowing that she could hear me on some level even if she couldn't reply. She said she loved me. I replayed those words over and over. Maybe something good would come from this accident after all. All this stupid stuff that happened didn't matter, the argument, being kicked and slapped, my mothers car. All that mattered was me and her, and our love. That's what I told her. I promised her it would be ok, that after this was all over I would take her away, anywhere she wanted to go, and make it up to her somehow. That I would spend the rest of my life making her happy, just as she made me happy. And in that moment, holding her close to me, listening to her breathing, hearing those words "I love you", I really did believe that things would work out for us.


	10. Chapter 10

-1Tess pulled into the driveway of the beach house. She quickly checked the address she had written down. Yes this was the right place. But Alex Ute was no where to be seen. Only a police car in the driveway. That's wasn't a good sign, Tess concluded. She thought back to the strange phone call from Alex, requesting that Tess come to the small coastal town, to the Ryan family beach house. Tess hadn't hesitated. She heard in his voice that it was important. It was only concern that prompted her to ask him what was going on, even after he told her 'Don't Ask, just get here.' He mumbled that he couldn't explain if he wanted to, as he didn't understand himself. He added that Stevie was with him, and hung up.

Tess was relieved beyond words to hear Stevie was with Alex. She had spent most of her time worrying about Stevie, and missing her, since she took off to god knows where with Kane Morgan. Tess didn't know what to make of all this? Was Kane there to? Had Stevie changed her mind? Had she or Alex or both of them done something stupid? Why were the police here?

Pushing her questions aside she knocked hesitantly on the door. A tall police officer opened the door. "Can I help you?" He asked

She opened her mouth to ask after Alex and Stevie, and then saw Liz Ryan crying in a corner of the living room. Tess pushed past the police officer and rushed over to Liz.

"Liz, what happened? What's wrong?" Tess asked, alarmed "Where is Alex? Has something happened?"

"Alex is fine." Liz managed between dramatic sobs. "But something terrible happened. I was attacked. Right here in my own beach house. And my car was stolen." Liz explained.

Tess put her arm around Liz. They had never been close, but it was Tess' caring nature and she couldn't leave the woman crying there and not comfort her.

"That's terrible." Tess told her. "But it's over now. You're safe. Where is Alex?"

Liz shook her head sadly. "I suppose he is with that monster who attacked me."

"Who?" Tess asked

"Your overseer, the crazy red head girl. " Liz accused.

"Stevie? Stevie attacked you and stole your car?" Tess asked, suddenly suspicious of the story Liz was telling.

"I just said so didn't I?" Liz replied.

Tess had a thousand questions about this alleged incident, but knew better than to ask Liz Ryan for the answers.

"Where are they?" Tess asked

Liz shrugged "How should I know? What kind of boy leaves his mother here after she's been attacked to go chasing a violent criminal. I suppose he wants to protect me, make sure she is locked up for good."

The tall police man spoke up then "I think you can find him at the hospital."  
Tess quickly asked directions for the hospital, and left the house without looking back at Liz, who was making the most of the attention from the police officers.

I paced the corridors of the hospital anxiously waiting for news. After being told a hundred times that I couldn't visit Stevie and couldn't be told any information about her condition, I was going crazy. Why hadn't I lied and said I was family?

I approached the nurses station one more time, noticing the nurse cringe when she saw me "I'm sorry Mr Ryan, I already explained…."

"Alex." I answered. "Call me Alex." And flashed my charming smile. "And you are?"

"Sister Martin." She answered coldly, clearly not impressed with my charm.

"Sister Martin." I began respectfully. I wasn't getting anywhere yelling and screaming. I decided to try a different approach before I was kicked out. It was killing me knowing she was so close, that she needed me, that I couldn't be there. What would she think when she woke up and I wasn't there? "I apologize for my behavior. I am very concerned about my friend."

"I understand that." She answered turning away from me and focused her attention on her paperwork

"Its just that Stevie and me, we are real close. She hasn't got any family."

This seemed to elicit some sympathy. Sister Martin looked over to me, then checked something on her computer. She then turned to me "According to my records I have a sister listed as next of kin, Michelle."

"Well yes" I tried to explain "She does have a sister. But they aren't very close" But I could tell I had lost her interest as she turned her back and attended to her work.

I resumed my pacing of the corridors. Never have I felt so helpless in my life. I wanted to break down the walls, punch anyone who got in my way, anything to be with her. Then I saw Tess rushing in the hospital doors, and suddenly I had an idea. 

"Michelle!" I called out deliberately in a loud voice as I stretched out my arms to embrace Tess "So good you have come to see your sister."

Tess looked momentarily confused, but embraced me in return as I whispered in her ear "Just go along with me."

I grabbed Tess by the hand and marched her towards the nurses station. "This is Stevie's sister, Michelle." I announced.

Tess smiled nervously "Yes Hello, I am Stevie's sister, Michelle, How is my sister?"

"Come with me" The nurse said. Tess and I followed, but Sister Martin stopped me and pointed over to the chairs in the waiting room. Relieved that at least Tess would be there and Stevie wouldn't be alone, I sat and tried to wait patiently for Tess to return.


	11. Chapter 11

-111.

I woke up wondering if the past few days, or even weeks, had been a dream. I gradually became aware of my surroundings. I heard strange beeping noises, people shuffling around, and realised I was in a hospital. I felt strangely at peace. I wasn't sure if this was from my recollection of being in Alex arms, or an effect of the pain relief medication. But either way, I lay there playing happy moments before my eyes. It seemed as if the happy moments were the only ones that existed at that point.

I opened my eyes slowly, knowing before I even looked that Alex wasn't here. That thought shattered all my happy little images, and reminded me of all the things I had felt that morning waking up and finding him gone. Happiness was a cruel dream. I pushed my bitterness aside suddenly, wondering if Alex had been hurt in the accident too.

The whole situation suddenly seemed so confusing. It wasn't hard for me to believe that he left me. I was used to that. What I couldn't comprehend was that he had come back. That he followed me to the beach. Dragged me back to the house. Even followed me when I took his mothers car. It didn't seem to make sense.

A nurse was in the room. I tried to speak. To ask her if Alex was ok. But the words didn't seem to come out. The nurse told me to be quiet and rest. Unable to do anything else I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to do as she instructed. Then she said something that caught my attention. Something about my sister Michelle, waiting outside to visit me.

I closed my eyes with deep dread in my heart. What on earth would Michelle be doing here? I must be dead or dying for her to make that trip. Or maybe she'd just come to gloat. Her face seemed ever present when I recalled the moments of failure in my life. Her voice telling me harshly of all the mistakes I'd made. I really didn't need to hear that from her right now. I tried to open my mouth to protest to this nurse that I didn't want to see Michelle. But again I found I was too weak to even speak. I decided I would just shut my eyes and play dead while she was here. If I tried hard enough I might fall asleep and not have to listen to her incessant reminders of all the failures of my life. Maybe she'd get bored and leave.

I heard the footsteps, someone sitting down, silently stroking my hair. This seemed an uncharacteristically caring gesture of Michelle. My mind groggy from medication it took some minutes for the thought to occur to me that it wasn't Michelle at all. I wondered if it was a nurse. Didn't she have more important jobs to do than sit and stroke my hair? This person sat by my side for what felt to me like hours. Finally certain it was not my sister Michelle, my curiosity got the better of my fear, and I struggled to open my eyes again. 

It surprised me to see Tess sitting by my side. Then I remembered back at the beach house, Alex had mentioned something about Tess. And it all started to make sense. I thought back over my conversation with Alex. I was so angry that he had called her. But also a little bit glad. After all, it did mean that he cared. And he said he did care. But then why did he leave me?

I remembered the way I accused him of being involved with Tess. At the time I was angry and hurt and confused, and my words were heartfelt and seemed to make sense. But now I realised how ridiculous that notion had been. Whatever his reasons for walking out on me, I was certain they were nothing to do with Tess.

"Tess?" I managed to say softly.

"Shhh I'm here. Don't worry about anything. It will be ok." She said reassuringly as she took my hand.

Something about the way she spoke to me made me believe her that it would be ok. And I felt suddenly so at peace and so tired that I closed my eyes again. As I lay on the verge of sleep I began to question why I had been so fiercely determined to hide from Drovers Run. Why had I been running from this? From Tess? From people that really did love me unconditionally? There was no judgement in her eyes, no condemnation in the tone of her voice. Just love. It really shook the foundations of my thinking. Was my frame of reference really so skewed?

No longer able to make sense of my thoughts, my decisions, or the events of the last few days, I drifted off to sleep holding on to the words that Tess had spoken- "It will be ok" , holding on to the words that Alex had spoken, "I love you". I began to think all this could be put behind us. It didn't matter how stupid I had been leaving Drovers. It was my home. It didn't matter that Alex had left that day. He had come back. Everything would finally be ok.

12.

It seemed like an eternity waiting for Tess to come back from visiting Stevie. I was inpatient for news, but at the same time glad Tess was there for her. I had sat still for about 5 minutes before I began pacing the corridors again. I have never been so glad to see Tess as when she emerged from the corridor that day. From the look on her face I could tell that Stevie would be alright.

"Is she ok? What's going on?" I asked before giving her the chance to explain anything.

"She's going to be fine. The Dr told me she had some internal injuries from the accident. They did surgery and she is recovering well. But she is pretty sleepy from the anaesthetic and the medication."

I didn't know what to say at that point. Words could not have expressed the relief I felt. The world was suddenly spinning around me. Tess put her hand on my shoulder. I could tell she was thinking the same things I was. About losing Claire. About the fear of losing Stevie too.

"I think Stevie will have bigger problems than her injuries from the accident." Tess continued, ending my thoughts of Claire.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Your mother." She replied.

Before I had the chance to spare a thought for my mother, we were interrupted.

"Would you mind keeping your voices down, this is a hospital. And visiting hours are over, so I will have to ask you to leave." A nurse told us harshly.

"Please." I begged her with my eyes "I really need to see my friend. Just for a moment. Just to let her know I am here."

"Your friend is sleeping. Once again I ask you to leave before I call security." She replied as she turned her back and headed off down the corridor.

I was so angry I could have hit something, but Tess dragged me outside the building before I did any damage. She headed silently for the car.

"Wait" I called to her. "We cant just leave!"

"They wont let us back in tonight Alex, we'll come back first thing tomorrow. And that nurse is right. Stevie is sleeping. She'll be ok. They'll take care of her." Tess tried to reassure me.

"I can't leave without seeing her Tess. I Can't." I insisted. All I wanted was one minute, to tell her I was here, that I loved her, that I would look after her and never let her get hurt again. I couldn't stand the thought of her lying all alone in that hospital room. 

Tess looked to me with curiosity. I hadn't told her any of the events that happened. That I found Stevie in her Ute on the side of the road. That Kane was out of the picture. That Stevie was the woman of my dreams. I hadn't even mentioned Stevie's strange behaviour, or how worried and confused I was. I had only said "come". And Tess had come.

That moment her eyes searched my soul. "She is very special to you." Tess remarked.

"Yes" I answered "She is beyond special.'

"More than just a best mate?" Tess asked. Although I figured she knew already the answer

The question made me uncomfortable. Tess was Claire's sister. I felt somehow guilty to be telling Tess about how much I loved another woman. I know Tess would want me to be happy, Stevie too. But still, she was Claire's sister.

"Yes" I answered. "She is more than a mate to me. She's everything."

I needn't have worried for Tess' reaction. A huge smile crept across her face and she pulled me close in an embrace.

"I'm so happy for you guys Alex." She whispered and I could tell she meant it. "I was so worried. When Stevie left with Kane. I didn't think I'd ever see her again. I didn't think the two of you would ever get your act together."

I smiled back at her, wondering if Stevie and I really would get out act together. I still had so many questions about her strange behaviour at the beach house. I knew we still had issues to sort out. But after coming so close to losing her, I had to believe it would work itself out.

"Come on, Tell me which window is Stevie's room?" I asked Tess, pulling her round to the side of the hospital building.

"Alex you can't break in to a hospital! Really, Stevie will be fine. We'll come back in the morning."

"Stevie might be fine, but I'm going to go crazy if I cant see her tonight." I replied.

Tess hesitantly followed me scanning the windows. "That one, on the corner" She finally announced.

I headed towards the window, the building was old and the window easy to pull apart.

"Are you coming?" I looked to Tess. It's not that I particularly wanted her company, just that I needed someone to guard the door in case a nurse came in and caught us. I didn't want to get banned from the hospital for life. I helped her climb up through the window then quickly followed her.

I stood still looking at Stevie lying in the hospital bed realising that there was something different. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on. "She looks so peaceful" I said softly more to myself than Tess. It reminded me of the morning I had woken up in the beach house with her sleeping my side. I sat beside her watching sleep as Tess kept watch on the door. I took her hand in mine. I wanted so much for her to know I was here. But I didn't have the heart to wake her. So I sat by her side hoping that somehow she would sense my love for her.

It didn't feel that we had been here long but I could sense Tess getting restless. She left her guard post at the door and sat beside me.

"She will be ok Alex. We really need to go before we get caught." Tess said gently.

As much as it tore my heart out I realised she was right. I nodded hesitantly. No use getting arrested for trespassing in the hospital. Stevie and I would have a life time together. I leaned over and gently kissed her forehead whispering that I loved her and that I would be back soon.

As Tess and I were heading for the window we heard a loud voice from the doorway. "I thought I told you visiting hours were over!" The nurse yelled.

"Please keep your voice down." Tess told the nurse motioning to Stevie who was sleeping soundly.

The nurse glanced towards her patient and nodded apologetically. I half hoped Stevie would wake up. Then I could tell her I loved her. And she would tell this crazy nurse that she wanted us to stay. But she didn't stir.

"But you really will have to leave. Visiting hours are over. You may visit your sister tomorrow" She whispered to Tess.

"I just forgot my handbag." Tess said quickly glancing around the room "But I guess I may have left it in the car."

The nurse then turned to me and whispered harshly "And I thought I told you that family only were allowed to visit tonight!"

I was so angry at the injustice of not being allowed to visit, or being told that I had to leave Stevie all alone tonight. But I took a deep breath. I didn't want to be banned from ever visiting.

Tess spoke before I could. "But Alex is family. He's my husband." Tess announced.

I tried to cover my shock and smiled and nodded. What was Tess playing at?

"Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?" The nurse asked. 

"Alex wasn't himself. He was so upset about my sister. She is like a sister to him also." Tess explained. The nurse looked sceptical.

Then I pulled Tess close to me placing a kiss on her lips. "I just love my wife so much, her family is like my family." I went on, hoping I wasn't overdoing it too much.

Tess snuggled close to me and smiled innocently at the nurse.

"Well then you may both come back and visit, but in the morning when visiting hours start." The nurse conceded.

"Thank you so much" Tess said sweetly as the nurse escorted us out of the room.

13

I was drifting in and out of consciousness since Tess had visited me. I don't remember Tess leaving. I just remember waking up at one point and she wasn't there. Then I remember Alex. I suddenly felt his presence. I felt his love for me even before I felt his hand gently taking mine ad holding it so tightly. I struggled to open my eyes but couldn't do it. But I heard every word he whispered in my ear. I knew he had been here. I hadn't dreamt it. He promised he would be back soon. He told me again that he loved me. And those words echoed in my heart over and over again as I lay in the hospital room. I wondered if it would get to the point that he had said it so many times that I couldn't keep count, or so many times that it no longer made my heart skip a beat. I hoped not.

Then I heard Tess. She must have come back with Alex. There was conversation going on that I couldn't seem to hear properly. Finally I fought so hard to open my eyes. I wanted to know what was happening. I wanted Alex to come back close to me, to hold my hand. I wanted to see that he was alright. As soon as I opened my eyes I wished I had the sense to stay blind. Immediately I was greeted with the image if Alex with his arm around Tess. Pulling her close. Kissing her. Then she snuggled up close to him smiling so innocently.

I wanted to scream at him. I was right all along about him. About the two of them. I wanted to tell them to get out. I wanted to be alone to cry. To feel sorry for myself at again being so stupid to believe Alex Ryan loved me. Unable to scream, cry, or even really to move, I shut my eyes again, the only defence I had at that moment was to escape back into the world of dreams.

My dreams were now filled with that picture of Alex kissing Tess. And of other images I imagined for myself of the two of them together. I tried to tell myself it had all been a dream. That the medication was causing me to hallucinate. But it was so real. I felt him here, holding my hand. Alex was here. I know it. And I heard Tess speaking. I smelled her perfume that she wore when she visited earlier. And then with my very own eyes I saw them kiss. Right in front of me as if I didn't exist. Tess smiling as if she didn't even care that she had ripped out my heart.

And suddenly everything seemed to make sense finally. You couldn't trust anyone in this world. That was something I could understand. I have lived it from a young age. But what hurt me was that I had let them in. Both of them. I thought they were different somehow. More than my anger, and my hurt, right at that moment I just felt so foolish for believing that they cared about me. I had been wrong. I had been wrong about Kane, wrong about Tess, wrong about Alex. The truth was that no one ever cared about me. I should know that by now.

I'd learned the true colours of Alex Ryan that morning he abandoned me in the beach house. I knew he didn't care about me. His actions proved it. But i had been foolish enough to start listening to him, to start believing in him again, only to find myself hurt again. How could i have been so stupid a second time? Tess is no better. Making me believe she is my friend. I had been right the first time to run from Drovers. How had i let them both fool me so completly? I decided to cut them out of my life for good. Alex Ryan and Tess McLeod both. It was the only way to protect myself.


	12. Chapter 12

-1I sighed as I looked around the small cottage waiting for Kane to return. Silently I scolded myself for being so stupid to leave the hospital with him. But I didn't have any other options really. Tess and Alex came to visit the morning after I'd seen them kiss. I refused to let them in. It blew me away that they would come visiting as if they cared about me when they had been secretly having an affair behind my back.

_Hang on, get a grip girl. Alex doesn't owe me anything. _What we had was a one night stand at best. Alex was right, only the day before I went to that beach house with him I was planning on running away with Kane. If he wanted to be with Tess it was really none of my business. I couldn't even blame Tess as she too had thought I was with Kane. But I would have thought they could have showed some consideration for Nick. Poor Bloke.

But regardless of my claim on Alex, or lack there of, it still hurt to see them like that. I didn't think I could face either of them again, and had absolutely no desire to go back to Drovers Run. Which basically meant I had no where to go.

I was surprised when Kane came to visit me in the hospital that day. I told him to leave. How dare he take off with all my money and leave me stranded and then just show up like that?

_"Come on don't be like that babe." He told me_

"Get out of here Kane!" I tried to make myself sound forceful but it was difficult being in so much pain.

"Just chill out. I'm here to help you."

"You can help me by giving me back my money and leaving."

"Yeah look, about the money Stevie, I don't have it right now."

I rolled my eyes, I wasn't surprised "I don't want to hear it, just leave."

"Listen I'll get the money, even more than what I took from you, I'll pay you back double I swear it."

I'd believe it when I saw it with my own eyes " So send me a cheque and get out of here."

"I wouldn't be so quick to get rid of me. I heard you're in a bit of trouble with the law."

Bad news travelled fast "I don't need your help Kane."

"Really? Well I hope you enjoy jail then. Because Liz Ryan is out for your blood."

I didn't really care at this point about jail. I made no reply hoping he would leave but it only caused him to keep talking.

"What are you gonna do if you don't come with me?" He asked softly and I could almost be fooled into thinking he really did care what happened to me. Maybe he did in his own way. There was no reason I could see that he should want to help me now. He already had my money.

In any case, his question got to me. What the hell was I gonna do? I couldn't hide from Tess and Alex forever especially since they knew where I was, and that I had no car. And the police had already informed me that I was being charged with all kinds of things from car theft to reckless driving to assault. So I stole her car and smashed it into a tree. She gave me the keys. And I never laid a finger on her. She wouldn't be standing today if I had. But I supposed no one would believe my word against hers. I really didn't think I could cope with being on the run on my own. All that moving around with no place to call home. I did it when I was younger but I didn't have the heart for it anymore. Or the money. So I reluctantly agreed to go with Kane.

I heard him spin some bullshit story to the Dr that he was my brother and he was taking me to a hospital in the city. I wondered why we didn't just jump out the window. But then I remembered I was a criminal now and I guess we didn't want any extra police attention. Kane told me it wasn't a crime to leave the hospital, not until I didn't show up at the hearing later in the month. I guess he would know all about criminal proceedings. And I certainly wasn't planning on showing up to that court date. Not with Liz and Alex and Tess all there ready to hang me. I guess I was only making it worse for myself but at the time I couldn't see it that way. At the time I just wanted to crawl into a black hole and die. And Kane Morgan made for a very nice black hole to crawl into.

As we drove off from the hospital I remember looking over my shoulder for any sign of Alex. I'm not sure if I was relieved or disappointed to find none. I silently vowed to put him behind me for good. Kane is no better than Alex, and I knew that. But I didn't care about him in the way I cared about Alex, and that meant he couldn't hurt me so deeply, which made him the safer option for the moment. And having someone who cared, or even who was just pretending, seemed to be preferable to being on my own right now.

We ended up at a cottage on the outskirts of Gungellan. I wished we were on the other side of the planet from Alex Ryan and not just the other side of town. But Kane said it would be the last place people would look for us. I began to wonder just what kind of trouble he was in to be hiding out like this. He also said that he had some business in town which I could only hope involved getting my money back.

He took off pretty much straight after he dropped me off, telling me to answer the door to no one. I should have been glad about that, not really wanting him to stay. But the thought of being alone somehow bothered me and I remember begging him to stay, much to my shame. But he left, telling me it was 'important business' and 'don't worry' and that he would be back 'later'. I tried to tell myself I didn't need him anyway. Stevie Hall didn't need anyone. At least that used to be true.

The place was a mess which didn't surprise me and if I had any energy I might have bothered tidying it up. It was somehow a fitting environment as my life had become a mess too, only I had no way of fixing that mess. I tried to imagine how I would get myself out of this, away from Kane. I knew he was up to something illegal. I hated being here with him. I can't believe I actually thought he cared about me. I had to find some way to survive on my own again. I seriously regretted leaving the safe environment of the hospital about the time that the pain killers wore off. Overcome with pain I decided I had no option for the moment but to lie down.

I must have slept because it was dark when I first heard the noise outside. I knew somehow that it wasn't Kane. Maybe because the person was knocking on the door. Why would Kane knock on his own door.? I remembered his words to answer the door to no one and sat very still, resenting him even more for leaving me alone here. My head was still spinning and I grabbed onto the bed post to steady myself. I hated feeling so weak and defenceless. I wondered if it was the police? Or some criminal associate of Kane's? Or Alex? I don't know where that last thought came from. Its not like I wanted Alex to ride in on his white horse and rescue me. Did I?

I heard this persons muffled calls through the door. "Kane open up. I know you're there.!"

I sat silently and didn't really begin to panic until I heard the sound of smashing glass. This was enough to motivate me to put my pain aside and drag myself to my feet. I thought about running but didn't even have any idea where the back door was. Or who would be waiting out there if I tried to run. I picked up the first object I could find to use as a weapon, which happened to be a rifle that was propped up in the corner of the room. What kind of a person had a rifle sitting in their bedroom? Upon closer inspection it wasn't loaded. But hopefully this person wouldn't know that. Or maybe I could use it to hit him over the head with it. I wondered briefly if this person had a gun. Or a knife. Or….I made myself stop.

I stood behind the door and listened carefully to the footsteps around the cottage. It seemed to be only one person. Every now and then he would call out Kane's name. I was certain of one thing- It wasn't Alex. I heard the man coming towards the bedroom. I glanced quickly over my shoulder to the closet. It was too late to run and hide. Which ordinarily wouldn't have been my style, but right at that moment I was having enough trouble standing to my feet let alone trying to attack someone with an un-loaded gun. And I didn't really know who this person was or what they wanted. They didn't want me anyway they wanted Kane. It was his fight. Why was I putting myself in danger for him? I decided next time I would hide in the closet. If I lived to see the next time.

The door pushed slowly open. Panic filled me. As much as I would have sworn only minutes ago that I didn't care about what happened to me, I was scared. Would this be my last living moment? Would I ever see Rose again? Tell her how much I love her? Completely lacking the strength to strike this man over the head hard enough to do any damage I decided to point the rifle at him and hope it scared him off. The lights were switched off but the moon was bright. I caught him by surprise as he entered the room to find a rifle pointed at his face. He backed up against the wall and I felt confident he was defenceless, but I didn't drop the rifle.

He stood for a moment like that until he leaned his head forward towards me.

"Stevie?" He asked.

How did he know my name? I didn't know his.

"Hey give me that gun before someone gets hurt" He continued.

In the shock of being identified I somehow let my guard down and allowed him to gently reach for the gun. I reminded myself it wasn't loaded and he couldn't really hurt me with it. As his hands brushed over mine I looked into his eyes and for the first time recognised his face in the moonlight. That's the last thing I remember before I fainted into his arms.


End file.
